Grief is part of the human experience

Jinnie Lee Schmid

Grief is one of the most complicated human emotions to process. The American Psychological Association’s summary of grief describes it as “anguish experienced after significant loss, usually the death of a loved one.”  To conclude 2022, The Scooty Fund (TSF) hosted Scoot Season 2 guest Jinnie Lee Schmid, who supplied another perspective: “A good definition of grief (is) the resulting set of conflicting emotions from any change or loss.” Grief can arise from so many causes in life, “not just death or divorce,” Jinnie described. “Things like graduation and weddings or having a child…whatever upsets your routine, even happy changes can trigger grief.” Jinnie noted that many mental health professionals are “drawn in” to work in grief management because of their own personal experience with grief.

Jinnie spoke to her grief experience firsthand: “I had a chaotic childhood and when I was well into adulthood, I lost my grandmother…It was quite sobering to hit 45 and realize I didn’t have any tools for dealing with that [loss].” This is where Jinnie’s and her clients’ work begins, the recognizing and releasing of that grief. Jinnie calls it “the grief recovery method.” “I’m a big fan of therapy and counseling and medication (for those of us who need it). I {also} recognize the grief recovery method is the best tool for resolving grief.” With that, Jinnie founded Change Navigators LLC to cope with the many layers to this complex pain. 

Conventional wisdom holds some long-preserved ideas about grief that Jinnie seeks to reinterpret, if not debunk. These “myths'', as Jinnie describes, are commonly circulated as legitimate research, one example being “the 5 Stages of Grief.” Another one of the most impactful myths is that grief only applies to certain life circumstances. “Our instinct is (to feel) sadness when we see loss. We associate it with death and divorce, {but} any end of a familiar pattern or big change can cause grief,” says Jinnie. “Moving too often or changing schools can cause grief because they involve letting go of some aspect of our former life.” 

Another grief-related myth Jinnie challenges is “that everyone experiences loss the same way. That’s because of rhetoric about the ‘stages of grief’. There’s not a standard process! Whatever you’re feeling is normal. That’s normal when your life has been changed.” A common coping mechanism Jinnie views as counterproductive is “[to] go grieve alone… that shuts down at least half of our emotional life.” Isolation for the sake of privacy or preserving dignity removes us from others and the potential support provided. “That’s when problems begin; when there is stigma around a big event being seen as sad or a loss,” concluded Jinnie.  Jinnie shared some wisdom in how to step away from unhelpful cultural norms in grief. Her initial advice? “Be diligent about seeking support especially if it is less available in your personal circle. Mental health is like physical health, sometimes we need expert help to make sure we heal properly.” 

Change Navigators, LLC provides such tools for healing from any trauma or loss. When asked for one piece of wisdom for loved ones supporting a grief survivor, Jinnie replies, “If we invite someone to share, it’s now our job to be a safe place. A heart with ears and tape over its mouth.” This proverbial tape implies a judgment-free space, held for the survivor to not only explore but eventually thrive in any life change.
 
Here is the Spotfy link:  https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Ltxlr6eqePFhHc0KJIVzb

Learn more about our organization: http://www.scootyfund.org. 
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You can also follow Jinnie Lee Schmid on LinkedIn, Instagram, or connect with Change Navigators, LLC  website for information on their program.
 
 

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